Till I’m Old & Ready To Die (ORD)

Posted on by Samuel Lim

I vow

To make the best use of my time here.

1. I read

  • Blink: The Power Of Thinking Without Thinking (A compelling book, one which describes first impressions – the first two seconds, in fact – count in everyday experiences. Some of the examples presented by Malcolm Gladwell made me :O)
  • Hard-Boiled Wonderland and The End Of The World (A book that left me awestruck. I loved how Murakami intertwined two different plots with two different destinies)

2. I’m re-reading

  • Brain Rules (An interesting read on 12 rules that govern how the brain works)
  • The Tipping Point (A revolutionary read on how small things can make a huge difference)

3. I plan to finish:

  • Shantaram (Part III to V)

I feel the need to quote some parts of what I’ve read thus far:

  • What characterizes the human race more,’ Karla once asked me, ‘cruelty or the capacity to feel shame for it?’ I thought the question was acutely clever then, when I first heard it, but I’m lonelier and wiser now, and I know that it isn’t cruelty or shame that characterizes the human races. It’s forgiveness that makes us what we are. Without forgiveness, our species would’ve annihilated itself in endless retributions. Without forgiveness there would be no history. Without that hope, there would be no art, for every work of art is in some way an act of forgiveness. Without that dream, there would be no love, for every act of love is in some way a promise to forgive. We live on because we can love, and we love because we can forgive.

  • “Are we ever justified in what we do? When we act, even with the best of intentions, when we interfere with the world, we always risk a new disaster that mightn’t be of our making, but that wouldn’t occur without our action.  Some of the worst wrongs, Karla once said, were caused by people who tried to change things.”

  • Lovers find their way by such insights and confidences: they’re the stars we use to navigate the ocean of desire.  And the brightest of those stars are the heartbreaks and the sorrows.  The most precious gift you can bring to your lover is your suffering.  So I took each sadness she confessed to me, and pinned it to the sky.

  • Prisons are the temples where devils learn to prey.  Every time we turn the key we twist the knife of fate, because every time we cage a man we close him in with hate.

4. I want to learn:

  • Philosophy
  • Psychology
  • Communications (Includes Mass Communications)
  • Driving
  • More about China
  • China’s economy (They are progressing faster and faster)
  • More about Singapore’s Chinese history
  • Chinese & modern day chinese culture

Recently, I’m struck by a sense of authenticity, more so when I try to reconcile with the language and the way of life my predecessors lived and preached. Nothing beats knowing more about your own roots.

5. I want to re-learn:

  • Economic Theories

There has been great discussions about the global financial crisis as well as the recent turmoil in the global economy from US to Europe to Japan. I tend to understand better when we discuss about such issues in camp. I never really understood the terminology and specifics what not frequently mentioned in the newspaper or reviews.

I have a friend who recommended me to get a book, one that explains everything about this global phenomenon to people who aren’t sure what’s really going on.

6. I need to:

  • Eat more. I want to grow buffer. I think I am far too small size as compared to other guys in camp. I have seniors calling me cute. They think our batch is filled with short, cute guys.
  • Run. Jump. Do Pull-Ups. Hopefully everyday. 3 Reasons:
  1. In Brain Rules, #1: Exercises boosts Brain Power. Our brains love motion. When we exercise, we sharpen our brains. Also, oxygen, through aerobic exercise, builds inroads for the brain. Besides, I know I’ll feel good after a workout. Always. Without fail.
  2. I have not been training much recently. I reached at least silver standard for all my IPPT stations except Standing Broad Jump. I still passed, just that I cannot jump to silver or gold standard.
  3. Silver: $100. Gold: $200. Enough said.

  • Connect with people, socialize. I want to feel them as who they are.

  • Have time for myself, introspect. I want to be who I am.

7. I will:

  • Write more journal entries.
  • Explore music.
  • Find music I love.
  • Find music with lyrics to die for.
  • Find poems with ideas to die for.

8. I know it is her I will never forget. How irresponsible of me to leave her just like that. To have said things I shouldn’t have. And not say the things I should have.

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